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  • cute barista: alright you're all set, have a good day!
  • me:
  • cute barista:
  • me: so what are we?
Source: shamitomita
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peter-pans-booty-shorts:

ohhowlucky:

danteogodofsoup:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

standupcomedyblog:

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

This is my favorite story ever and I will reblog it every time I see it.

(via hadersgonnahade)

Source: timetoputonashow
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drakeovograham:

Do y’all know how fucking sad this makes me? leave people alone. This literally made me cry. FUCKING LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE?! I hate this world. Too fucked up, even for me

(via fingerblaster113)

Source: drakeovograham
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reasonsmysoniscrying:

"I wouldn’t read the US Constitution as a bedtime story."
Submitted By: Kate W.
Location: Colorado, United States

Source: reasonsmysoniscrying
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fleeten:

don’t stare at the moon too long or else you’ll remember that nothing in this stupid fucking world makes sense

(via best-of-text-posts)

Source: fleeten
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jawnpalace:

omg that was beautiful

(via jolivet)

Source: lolgifs.net
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j6:

demonicdorothy:

japanese dragon:

- long
- chill
- no wings
- legs
- moustache
- in the sea

chinese dragon:

- long
- p chill
- no wings
- legs often but not always
- impressive beard
- 9 is a big deal

european dragons:

- jerks
- breathing fire
- wings
- often actually a wyvern
- compulsive hoarding
- caves

slavic dragon:

- three fucking heads bro
- can you believe it
- wings and like
- 3 whole heads

leviathan:

- honestly probably just a whale and you should all chill 

American Dragon:

- jake long

(via clanked)

Source: demonicdorothy
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